Desiring CattiBrie
by Keirae Huruma
Summary: A look into the minds of Cattie-Brie and Drizzt. Drizzt muses over his silent love for the woman he has watched from childhood as Cattie begins losing what love she has for Wulfgar. Rated M Violence and Sexual relations in future chapters
1. Desire

_**Authors Note: **_**Hi there, Keirae here. I'm opening to a new range of readers now! I really wanted to start doing Book Fan ficts instead of just Anime fan ficts.**

**This is Catti-BrieX Drizzt. I doth not own Forgotten realms or any of these characters unless I create a random guy that says "Hey ima fight you" and then he dies. That guy I own…. Unless theres a guy in forgotten realms that says hey ima fight you and then dies… O.O then I'd be sadly mistaken.**

**R&R please if you like. Enjoy **_**Desiring Catti-Brie**_

In my dreams alone I kiss her. She is Wulfgars property now… How long has it been since we met? A good thirty years I believe it to be so. I know if she loved me as I loved her I would feel a pedophile. I doubt I would have Bruenors approval in the matter. I am his dearest friend, the Drow he trusted not, once upon a time.

I must continue to tell myself these things or my lust may overcome me…

In the Underdark never would I have felt love. Sometimes such a feeling makes me wish I was still there. The know of the want but not being able to have it. Much like a child who throws himself on the floor when his mother bids him to bed, forcing him by picking him up and confining him to his room, possibly with other consequences.

Does the child not want to stay up with just as deep a desire as I want Catti-Brie in my arms? Children lust for so small of things while we, the elders, Continue on wishing for greater things than we may have.

Aye me…

"Drizzt." she says my name… Oh, by the goddess I adore, she says my name. "Yer not quite yerself today are ye?" I smile at her.

"I am as I am every day we meet again." I say as the gentleman I always am, "Do you wish me to dance for you to prove that I am myself?" I joke to her as a the friend I am as well. She smiles back at me.

"That would prove me nothing." she laughed. "Ye don't act like a fool." even though I do feel like one. "But ye would do tha task as I ask it, would ye not."

Yes…

"You think so highly of yourself. Your pride is as large as your hair is red."

"That is not a problem for me but for the ones around me." she chuckles, being pulled back into Wulfgars strong, young arms. Ha, I had almost forgotten he was behind her.

"Drow you really do seem unlike yourself today." Wulfgar admits. "Catti-Brie feel his head. He may be braced with a light fever."

Oh Dear Mielikki, please don't let it be so. Don't let her small hands touch my face.

"I am Tired." I say almost unlike myself. Catti-Brie's eyebrows furrow into a slightly stunned crease.

"Guenhwyvar." she calls my cats name silently. The only creature that I could possibly love as much, if not more, than she who calls the name herself. The smoky mist dispels from the figurine at my side, forming into the cat that we all adore… well all except for Bruenor Battlehammer. I put my hand on top of the Panthers strong head and smile.

"Hello again my friend." I say in a low voice.

"Something bothers ye." Catti-Brie concludes. I look to her confusion now on my face as well as a smile.

"So sure of yourself are we?" I question. She stares at me with crossed arms, leaning away from Wulfgar now. He knows she means business. He is not quite used to her independent nature, he has not grown around women like her. From my childhood I have witnessed "independence" in women if it can be called such. Its more like a right in Menzoberranzan. We, the Men, are oppressed.

Catti-Brie is different though, could NEVER be compared to a Drow woman! Never in my days will I ever spit the foul words that claim her to be as such. She neither looks, nor acts as such. Independence is but a good natured flaw to her kind heart, Though not so much of a flaw as a trait. She got it from her Father no doubt.

"Might I ask why you have come to that conclusion?" I question her.

"Yer attitude changed as soon as ye saw the cat. Yer tone, Yer face, the way you held herself." I stared at her a moment. Does she really know me so well she can detect the smallest change in my stature? I wouldn't doubt it since we have known each other since she was but a child but Its almost bewildering how well she reads the people around her. I shake my head

"You worry over nothing Catti-Brie." I assure her

"Drizzt Do'Urden ye mask yer true feelings." she says stubbornly. I chuckle, running my hand over the muscles of the great cats shoulders.

"I do not." I retort, a lightness to my voice.

"Drizzt ye tell me a fib such as that again and yer head will be rendered from yer shoulders." An empty threat I know, but either way it hurts.

"Remove my head from my shoulders will you?" she but stares at me, just as stubborn as her red hair bade her be when she was born. All other red heads could not compare to this girl. This beautiful young girl I watched grow up. I let out a lighthearted laugh. "What treads through my mind is merely the memory of Zaknafien today Catti-Brie. I wish not to dwell." Lies and slander I tell myself quietly. But it gets her off of my back.

She now looks at me with a sympathetic look that screams sadness for me. She, no doubt, wishes she didn't ask and didn't force me to tell my lie. Though now my lie was becoming a reality as I though of my Father… and Matron Malice.

They didn't love. She desired and he complied.

Thus came me and my sister. And I was the coming of his death.

"Drizzt…" I see a hand on her shoulder as I am in deep though. Wulfgar doesn't think she should go on and, for once, she agrees with him and doesn't say a word further.

"Bruenor wants us to meet him this afternoon." Wulfgar reminds me and her "We should ready ourselves." he swings his leg from the bench and stands, offering his hand to Catti-Brei who's eyes are still fixed on me. She gives her hand to him, eyes always staring at mine, Transfixed with the lavender color that my kind rarely possesses.

"Sorry fer makin' ye say Drizzt." she tells me, kissing my forehead gently. It feels friendly, like a younger sister to a brother. That's what have become to her. Its what I will stay no matter how much I wish otherwise.

The door closes and I move myself to the bed, sitting down and changing from my bare feet to the boots at my bedside. I lie down in a deep state, musing at the small kiss that sent my stomach slightly wild. All I think of is my hand in hers. If only that satisfaction. Not just as friends but as lovers, knowing she loved me back and held it with just as great a satisfaction as I would.

Then my thoughts wander past the limits of being harmless to think of.

I shake these Deep thoughts of my lust away. I curse my body and sit up, rolling my shoulders and putting my head in my palms, the balls of my hands resting on my eyelids. I remove my hands from my face and stare at my ebony hands. I am not like my kind surely. My skin does not reflect my heart.

I love Catti-Brei. I Want her deeply to be mine… I desire her. But I know my place.

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Ello ^-^! Well I intended this to be a one-shot but I really want to continue on. Go from different POV's and maybe make a relationship between characters. I enjoy these characters. R.A. Salvatore is awesome. Kudos to him!

Next chapter later to come!


	2. CattiBrie

_**Authors Note: **_**Hey people who read this. This is the second chapter of the story. I'm going to be going between Catti-Brie and Driz for the story. Right now I'm trying to figure out what Bruenor wants to talk to them about (I know its going to be an adventure) but I'm having problems v.v but no worries.**

**I had a Review, which I was SO thankful for cause I only got one lol, and I want to say I'm American and speak fluently lol. *sweat drop* I'm thinking I got a comment from someone who is a lot better at writing than I am and I wish I knew who It was so I could see what they write. **

**Btw guys, I enjoy constructive criticism! Just tell me and I will do my best to fix it because I miss things sometimes cause I'm…. I guess Very dim and don't see things that Are obvious to others….**

**Well enjoy now, I'll stop rambling**

_Catti-Brie POV_

There was always that sort of curiosity in me, wondering what it would be like if Wulfgar had not come into the picture. I don't think that my father would be very welcoming of Drizzt into my life that way and living around dwarfs that want a beard on my chin he would be my only option if at all.

I flip my hair behind my shoulders and Wulfgar comes up behind me, staring into the mirror with a smile on his face.

"You look beautiful." he sighs, putting his monstrous hands on my shoulders. He is no doubt a very large man, ironically, taking into context my life and whom I have lived around. I, myself, am not used to barbarians as I have lived around quite the opposite my entire life. The only exception was Drizzt. He was the only real sized person I had been around till Wulfgar and even then he wasn't real sized. He is almost unreal sized. But my husband none the less and I love him deeply.

"Ye flatter me but I look no different than any other day." I tell him lightly, putting one hand on his hand. I sigh and turn from the mirror.

"Drizzt is still getting to you." he says to me. I shrug.

"The damned Drow pulled at me heartstrings what can I say." I chuckle and walk away from him and put on my boots. I notice that he stares at me, maybe in a slight worry? Possibly staring for the hell of it. Then I hear a pawing at the door, knowing its Guenhwyvar.

"Speak of the devil." Wulfgar says, walking to the door. I watch him intently with a smile. I do love him…

Ha I think this as if I have to convince myself. I quickly wipe away the thought that it may be a fact.

The door opens and Drizzt stands and Guenhwyvar has taken a position with her paws on Wulfgars shoulders. She's very playful for such a large cat. I see Regis behind them staring on at Wulfgar in concern. If it had been him he would be on his back. Drizzt notices his expression with but a glance and starts laughing.

"Regis, calm yourself." he told him through his chuckles. I stand up. He seems fine now, Not wandering over the thoughts of Zaknafien I hope. That hope alone sends my thoughts wild. What things had I made him re-live? It had merely been a wandering thought before I said something and he must have thought deeper after that. That look on his face looked pained.

"You seem like you are better now." I tell him, hoping not to return the memories to him. He shrugs a bit.

"Never better." he tells me with a smile. I nod. I stare at him a moment. Never do I really stare at him for long periods of time. It would be to strange. But every time I do stare at him for a few moments my gaze goes to his beautiful lavender eyes. Never have I seen such eyes. Of course the only knowledge of Drow I know has been from Drizzt and stories from others, portraying Drow as the beasts they are, but as he has said Lavender eyes are never seen in his kind.

And they contrast his skin just as his hair does. His appearance is truly leaves me breathless sometimes when I think of his past. His face is not riddled with wrinkles of worry, nor is his face frozen in a permanent scowl. He laughs and smiles and will surely grow with laugh lines rather than lines of hatred near his eyebrows where, I'm sure, all Drow but him wear out with scowls and anger.

Wulfgar is now at my side, having escaped the panther. Guenhwyvar is lying on the ground by Drizzt, cleaning herself. We are called to the hall today. Bruenor will talk to us about some adventure we may take soon. Maybe a trip to the Spine of the World mountains, Possibly a trip to Silverymoon.

"I see we are all ready to go?" Wulfgar says with a light tone. Drizzt nods, as do I and Regis. Guenhwyvar merely yawns deeply and lies her head on her paws. Wulfgars hand is on my waist now and he means to lead me but I walk with a stride holding my own. No man, of mine or otherwise, will lead me.

I lead myself.

Drizzt looks to me as we walk and I'm sure he sees how I try to stand tall and try hard to walk before Wulfgar and he smiles. He knows why I do it and why I must do it. Being raised around Dwarves who would expect otherwise than a strong willed woman? Wulfgar isn't quite used, or fond of the way I am. Barbarian women are not like me.

Drizzt knows me though and he accepts it.

**Please R&R if you can! It lets me know if I'm doing good or if I need to step up my game. Thanks guys! Ya'll are amazing!**


	3. Onto Silverymoon

**AUTHORS NOTE****: hey um… I'm grounded… but I'm almost off my grounding time! Hallelujah! So I'll have more up for this story more often (hopefully) soon! Enjoy the third chapter!**

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"Lady Alustriel has requested us journey to Silverymoon to take care of the menace that has been terrorizing the cities there." Bruenor tells us. I am standing against the wall as the others are standing in front of him. I nod as I hear the news. We will travel to Silverymoon. I enjoy the place most of the time, especially since I am no longer seen as a menace myself, just like my family. "Me, Meself am aching to get out of this place, whether the menace be great or small."

"As do I." Catti-brie tells him whole heartedly. Wulfgar looks to her with a small grin as if he is hiding something. He doesn't _truly_ want her to go and fight. If he had it his way he would order her stay home and have her think of him alone as the hero. Catti-brie has the spirit of a thousand lions though. She will not stay even if he asks. Once upon a time she might have stayed out of battle but after your first kill you have the want and the need to continue on as you are. A warrior.

"There is no possibility you need someone to stay and… you know watch the place?" Regis questions Bruenor. The dwarf just laughs though.

"Ye always seem to pull through in the end Rumblebelly." Bruenor exclaims. I see Regises shoulders sulk forward and I stifle a laugh. Bruenor comes down toward us and puts his hand on the Halflings shoulder with a hearty laugh. "Me wouldn't leave such a vital part of our team at home."

"I suppose…" Regis mumbles. I feel bad for him for the slightest second but that quickly goes away. Guenhwyvar's tail hits my leg and I looked down to her. She looks playful and as if she is trying her hardest not to jump on Bruenor. She knows to keep herself calm in serious situations like when we are summoned for a quest. Later I know she'll mess with the dwarf.

"Don't ye be worrying yer head Regis." Cattie-brie tells him as Bruenor takes his leave out of the room. "There be no force that can withstand us." I smile at her and join the group that is following Bruenor. It will not be that far of a walk from the Hall and enjoying it with friends, and her, will be nice. Not many things have happened and it grows boring. Most of the time I am left with my thoughts.

Whether I like it or not I was raised by drow and the drow warrior in me needs adventure.

I catch up to Catti-brie and she smiles at me.

"It isn't as exciting sounding as I thought it would be but we be getting out." she says in a happy voice. I look behind us.

"Shouldn't Wulfgar be at your side?" I question her. She looks back and then to me and shrugs.

"If he wants to hang back and be stubborn so be it." she tells me nonchalantly. "I know he doesn't want me involved with anything' that only men in his society ever did. Its frustrating an' I don't quite appreciate him being unsupportive." she says this rather low in hope that I will keep what she is saying to myself. I can't help, though, feeling a bit guilty that she is telling me this instead of him. I guess that she wants him to learn by her actions rather than by her words

"You seem to be walking rather quickly though." I tell her with a smirk. "You wouldn't be trying to avoid him would you Catti-brie." she looks at me and it is a dirty look indeed.

"Drizzt Do'Urden how dare you suggest such a thing." she says hotly. I try not to laugh because she knows I know it is true "don't ye know me well enough by now?" this makes me laugh

"Oh yes, dear Catti-Brie, I know you quite well." I chuckle. She shakes her head while looking straight forward.

"Obviously ye do not." I look down at her and notice I have actually offended this strong hearted girl. She is obviously trying to lie to herself, but for what gain? What reason? "If he loves me he will catch up. "she tells me quietly and sternly. Now all I can do is stare at her. She is trying to get him to prove his love? I understand why she needs this. She wants to feel like she is loved for herself and not by what she does as a woman. She doesn't want a place in the world, she doesn't want boundries in her life. She is a free spirit and that's all she wants Wulfgar to accept.

I know he won't accept it without a little help though.

I look back at him. If I was a bad friend I would have let her walk the entire way without trying to get him to come to her. Then later I would have comforted her and possibly started forming the relationship I longed for with her. Instead I turn my head and urge him to come forward and get to her side with a nod of my head. He stares at me a moment and continues at his regular pace.

I start to feel slightly frustrated. Its as if he doesn't care. Is her being a "normal woman" all he cares about? I do it again with a sterner face and he rolls his eyes but breaks into a run to come to her side.

"What Drizzt?" he asks me aloud. I feel a small regret form in me as Catti-Brie looks to me with a disgusted and slightly angered look.

"Ye just can't leave well enough alone can ye?" she asks me. "I don't need yer help." Now she is walking faster than the both of us and is now at her father's side. Regis looks back at us and my forehead is now in my palm. It wasn't the smart thing to do. It probably would have been smarter to just leave it alone and not interfere. Now I feel terrible and frustrated at Wulfgar.

"You called me over here?" he says and I look to him, shaking my head and walk forward once more.

Its official… we haven't started this journey off good at all.

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**Hey guys! I thought I'd start their journey off a bit rough. **

**Please R&R. **

**I really appreciate the one who reviewed last time and who also became my first subscriber! ^-^ I am very happy for that!**

**Btw if you review I try to respond to all of them and some of you may be mentioned in here for your comments! Keep watching and enjoying the story!**


	4. Furious!

**AUTHORS NOTE: ****ungrounded! ****That is all and that is self explanatory**

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Furious is the only way to describe how I feel right now. Angry, frustrated maybe, malice filled. Damn it all! The damned drow doesn't know how to keep to himself. I don't even relatively want to look back at him or the one who calls himself my love. They both piss me off to the greatest lengths. I fall back from the side of my father and chew on the inside of my cheek, trying to calm myself.

I feel a hand on my lower back and look down to Regis as we exit the hall and greet the day. I imagine that Drizzt is cringing at the light. Years on the surface and he still isn't quite used to it.

"You know Drizzt is only looking out for you." He tells me. I scoff hotly.

"Please Regis, spare me the useless talk of those two buffoons." I imagine that he's growing uncomfortable by me now. I flip my hair back over my shoulder and I see him look back to the other two. He jumps seeing Guen behind him. This makes me chuckle the slightest bit and Guen takes to my other side, looking up to me.

"Why are ye all so quiet?" My father yells back at us, turning around. We all stop where we are. I know they don't even attempt to come by my side because I no longer hear footsteps falling behind me. Drizzt doesn't want to come close to me when I'm angered and Wulfgar, I'm guessing, just doesn't quite care as much as maybe Drizzt does. "What is Cattie-Brie to take the lead and protect the men? Both of ye get before her. Act like the gentlemen ye are." I sulked not feeling any desire to have them in front of me. At least when I lead they cannot look back and know how I feel by the glance at my face. I don't look at them as they walk past but I can see their feet go by me. I feel myself falling behind a bit as they go to the side of my father. I look up at them as I walk forward, hoping that if I stare long enough they will burst into immeasurable flame. I wish it more on Drizzt though.

He knows me… he has always known me but he had the nerve to try and interfere with my endeavors? Wulfgar would have come on his own, I know he would have, but I wanted him to come on his own. He would have done it despite his stubborn nature.

"Cattie-Brie," Regis begins. I can tell he doesn't want to continue. "what did Drizzt do to make you furious as this?" I let out a sigh as I see Drizzt look back. It frustrates me to see his concerned face.

"He Interfered. I wanted Wulfgar to come to my side on his own and Drizzt decided that he would try and speed up a process. If Wulfgar loves me he would have done it on his own." I hear Regis snort a laugh.

"Cattie, he is a stubborn man."

"And I, a stubborn woman."

"Yes, yes you are." He paused. "Do you think it wise to stay with your opposite as lovers? "he questioned me half heartedly "You will fight a lot. You were raised by Dwarfs and he was raised by Barbarians. The two have opposing ideas, to a point at least." I sighed.

"Just because we disagree doesn't mean we will not agree in the future. Ye don't know of love Regis." He looked at me insulted

"I know of love!" he told me defensively.

"No Regis ye don't." he let out a frustrated huff and crossed his arm.

"I could if I wanted to."

"I'm sure that is true. But It isn't as easy as that. I love him and that's that. Yes I think about if we weren't together a lot. It would be a lot easier and I'd have more freedom than that of which I have right now. But I love him and I cannot break him like that. Besides I have a need for a partner now." I looked down at him. "I don't like being quite alone."

"You have me and Drizzt and you'll still have him at your side."

"Yes but I will not have him." I looked to my feet, feeling like my emotions were tugging me every which way, as if I were a toy being fought over by sisters. One sister having my best interests in mind and the other sister having the worst intentions for my life. The problem is I know not which sister to trust.

"Men are not to be owned." He told me plainly. "Especially barbarian men."

"well women of my demeanor are not to be owned as well!" I tell him disgusted. "Am I to be owned then? Am I to toss away how I feel and what I like and what I want for a stupid ass of a man?" Drizzt looks back at me concerned again. He has done this at least three times.

Wulfgar has not done it once. I feel my heart sink as I come to this realization. He hasn't even tried to realize what is wrong. He hasn't looked back or tried to fall back and talk to me. But now as I walk I see Drizzt doing just that. NOW Wulfgar looks back to see what Drizzt is doing but nothing more.

"Cattie-brie." Drizzt starts. I sigh and look away from him. I don't even know what to think now. I feel confusion meshed with anger and another weird emotion that doesn't feel like love or friendship. It feels euphoric and it overpowers them all.

"Drizzt unless ye are going to tell me that He is paralyzed from the neck up and he has the deepest desire just to see how I am but he doesn't want to disturb me by walking back here I do not wish to hear it." Drizzt stares at me a moment and sighs.

"Unfortunately that is not what I was going to say. I was going to apologize. I should not have tried to make him do something that you wanted him to do and realize on his own. Its just I know how stubborn he is and how stubborn you are. I wouldn't have expected him to come forward on his own. I also didn't expect him to ask me what I wanted or we wouldn't be in this situation." I chuckle a small laugh and shake my head.

"Ye can't help everyone Drizzt." I tell him. "Ye have to let things work out by themselves sometimes. Unless the person is in the up most grief or in the wake of death." He nodded at me and ran his thumb on the end of the hilt of his scimitar

"I understand. And I should have known that."

"Yes ye should have." I feel better, in that area anyways. I don't have as much of an angry hate toward him. All I feel is that euphoria, clashing with the sadness that Wulfgar isn't trying to come to my side.

Maybe the trip won't be so terrible. At least I have my dearest friend to comfort me and stay by my side.

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**HEY GUYS! Well I'm happy with this chapter. I am very proud of myself. And, as I said, I am ungrounded so I'm starting to figure out that Sunday is most likely the day that I will be posting for this story every week around 11am-3pm. And if its sooner then that's great. If its later then oh boo hoo, you'll get it lol. PLEASE R&R. **

**Btw if you guys have any certain ideas or Crit. on these stories PLEASE leave it in your review. I like to get everything. Thanks guys!**


	5. Guilty

**AUTHORS NOTE: well… I lied… I'll just post when I want to. Cause I've been so excited about this story lately and I actually have a foundation of where I'm taking this. So I had to just write more. I'll have more up later this week**

I can't even begin to express my relief. She's so dear to me and I worried greatly that she would hate me forever. It was a very foolish thought but still a thought that tormented me inside.

She hurts though, even as the night falls she has an ache inside her that is displayed on her face. We've walked all day and I keep trying to keep her spirits high. I feel a failure though, since she is still upset. Wulfgar HAS looked at her though. He wishes for her company now.

"I wish she was on the same page as I am." he had told me earlier. "I wish she wasn't so stubborn. Its her fault and you know that Drizzt. It wasn't until I realized she was walking faster on purpose that I grew angry and frustrated. I wish she would change and let me be the man."

"She is your equal Wulfgar. And she is no man." I told him "And she just wants you to love her for her." That's when I looked back at her. She was speaking to Regis furiously. I couldn't catch any of the words that flew past her beautiful fast flying lips but I knew they were saying only what her heart felt. She was frustrated, at me most of all.

"Drizzt.," Wulfgar snapped. I looked to him quickly. "You're making me look bad. I was talking to you." my eyebrows came together.

"Making you look bad?"

"Looking back at her when I will not." I laughed, almost disgusted at his words. Why wouldn't we _want _to look at her?

"so why do you not do the same?" I asked him. He stared at me a moment trying to find an answer. The real answer, I knew, was that he was just as stubborn as she but he said differently.

"because she is so furious. I don't want to see here like this." I shook my head ashamed of him and Bruenor laughed and shook his head as well.

"Ye will have to show more interest in her or ye will never get anywhere with my daughter. Angered or no, women wish to be looked at. And to confront yer earlier conversation my girl cannot be changed. she cannot be trained to yer standards, no woman can." Wulfgar sighed and I looked back for the fourth time since we took the lead.

"Go and talk to her and calm her." Wulfgar told me. "she'll listen to you."

I nodded and fell back by her.

Now I know she had wanted Wulfgar to fall back, not me. She was hurting and still is. She didn't want to have to tell him what she wanted but she wanted him to know already. She wanted to know that he loved her enough to know her. She wanted him to care

Now I feel as a bad friend would. She is ready for him to come back and care for her but every time he looks back I tell him not to come by her side. I tell him she doesn't care to be in his company. Guilt kills me but I now truly believe that they are not meant to be together. Could there be harm in speeding up breaking them from this thin thread of love they have? If there was I wouldn't feel myself right to do this.

"Alright." Bruenor bellows loudly. We all stop in our tracks and he looks around, hands on hips. "good place to make camp me think…" he turns to us and raises his eyebrows at Wulfgar who he sees has not taken his place by Cattie-Brie. "Boy, Yer hopeless." He walks by him "Rumblebelly get the wood while me and Wulfgar go hunt with the cat. Drizzt and Cattie-Brie will stay and make camp." I find it only slightly strange that he bids me stay while Wulfgar leaves. I really am the only one she can confide in and who she probably wants to talk to. I am guilty but grateful for that. Wulfgar looks at me with a look screaming to talk to her as they take their leave into the forest. Regis stays close to them and Guenhwyvar seems overjoyed to go hunting as she prances along side of them.

"I'm glad yer staying with me." Cattie-Brie tells me whole heartedly. She walks over to me and lies her head on my chest and wraps her arms around my torso. I hug her back. "He frustrates me." I hear her say in a muffled voice. Its weaker than usual though. Its not her normal voice.

Crying?

I hold her tighter, holding her head to my chest. I am as her brother , though I wish otherwise, and comfort is my area of expertise.

"Don't worry about him." I tell her calmly, softly. "He doesn't matter right now. Don't think about it." I gently push her head away and look into her eyes, my hands on either side of her head. I wipe her tears away with my thumbs. "You are beautiful and you have a wonderful personality. He just hasn't had a chance to realize that ok? He loves you though and if he doesn't let my fated death be horrible and torturous." she chuckles a bit and shakes her head looking at the ground.

"Don't wish that on yerself. It may come true." she pauses and wipes her nose "he loves me… But he does not love who I am. And that matters to me more than anything." my shoulders sulk a bit, knowing I have failed to cheer her up again. "But you love me for who I am." she says softly, looking back up to me.

My stomach clenches in a knot as she fails to finish her sentence. She stopped it right there. Does she know my true feelings? Have I been that obvious? I can't speak and I can't not stare at her. I explore her face with my eyes. Her full pink lips, her lush red cheeks, her beautiful eyes, her soft clear skin.

I can't help myself now. I drop my left hand to her shoulder and slide my other softly so my palm is resting under her chin. I move in closer to her and she doesn't flinch away. My lips are inches from hers and she closes her eyes. I kiss her lightly first… slowly and unsurely and she kisses me back, sending my stomach wild with relief. I fix my hand behind her neck just under her hairline and pull her in closer and-

"Ye have always loved me and I've loved ye. Yer my best friend Drizzt and I couldn't ask for more from ye." I sigh and nod, putting my hands on her shoulders. "are you ok? I didn't depress ye did I?"

"No, no. I think of what to say is all." I explain. "I am your best friend but you cannot always have me to go to. Wulfgar will become suspicious of something that is not going on between us." I straighten up and I put my hand on her head, messing with the strands "Give him some time. Maybe he will change." she sighs and nods, looking down again "I am always here for you though, just know that."

More than you know…

Now we set camp…

HEY! If you have any suggestions or critiques please review and let me know! And please review anyways if you like it!

Hope you enjoyed


	6. I Feel

**Authors note: I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK THIS LONG TO PUT THIS UP! I've been under a lot of stress and I got grounded last weekend as well .. But now I'm back and I plan on really moving forward with this :) hope ya'll enjoy**

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Drizzt calms me when I speak with him. I don't know why I he seems to hold back his thoughts sometimes, though. It can be quite frustrating.

We manage to finish camp as the four come back to the place. Wulfgar seems to have some regret on his face and, to my surprise, he comes up and hugs me.

"Wulfgar,"

"I'm…" he sighs a remorseful sigh and pushes me gently away, his hands still on my shoulders. "I love you. And I-I'm sorry." I breath out a small a semi-shocked sigh. He's let go of his pride, finally.

Unfortunately I know all to well it will not be for long.

"You are a woman any man would be lucky to ow-" he stopped himself "love and have as his wife forever. Please, forgive me. We are to be as equals, that's how it should be." My eyes shoot quickly to Drizzt then back to Wulfgars face. Drizzt looks smugly at me and has crossed his arms across his chest.

"Wulfgar…" I start flabbergasted. I smile. "Love, I forgive ye." father lets out a cry of triumph

"well done, me boy, well done. Finally let go of yer pride. Look what a good thing that can be." he laughs aloud, carrying forward a deer that looked to be killed with his own hands, or maybe Wulfgars.

"Aye, I'm glad he has come to his senses." I laugh aloud. He smiles but both I and Drizzt can tell that he is holding back so much right now. I decide against provoking him once more. My eyes meet Drizzts and he shrugs at me, taking a seat by the fire. Everyone else follows as my father guts the dear and prepares it to cook. Regis stares at the large buck with eyes large as saucers

"Wow, this looks quite amazing." Regis states aloud. "Looks like today's traveling isn't so bad after all."

"I can agree with ye on that, Regis." I say with a smile, feeling Wulfgars arm drape around my neck. I lie my head on his shoulder and I, suddenly, feel one thing I never feel around him.

Nothing… yes nothing. I don't feel anything and… its new. Usually when I am around him I have a serene peace wrapped around me, if only for a little while. But now?

Nothing

He strokes my arm tenderly and now I feel guilt. I don't know _why_ I feel this way, but it makes me feel fear as well. I close my eyes and sigh, a fake loving sigh, fearing if I keep my eyes open that someone will notice my confusion. I know Drizzt will.

I don't seem to follow their conversation but catch bits and pieces of what sounds like a recap of the hunt, Regis throwing in his small comments that make everyone laugh.

"What did ye and Cattie do?" My father questions Drizzt.

"Talked, basically. I convinced her Wulfgar would come around soon enough. I could tell he was to that point when you trekked into the forest." I heard Wulfgar let out a small chuckle. He stops stroking my arm and I sigh, pondering what he may be thinking. Nobody notices the context of the sigh though.

I sit up and stretch, rubbing my eyes.

"Did you fall asleep so quickly?" Regis questions me. I yawn and shake my head no.

"No. Closing me eyes makes me dreary and restful. I think I may go for a walk to wake meself up right now."

"Are you sure you-" Wulfgar begins, but I cut him off before he can continue

"Yes. And I wish to go alone. I can take care of meself." I stand and face Wulfgar. He looks to the ground and I kiss his forehead. He's forcing himself not to say anything. I grab my bow and arrows and walk into the forest, thoughts raging through my already very confused mind.

It will be a long night.

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Again, so sorry! I would appreciate any feedback you have. You know… the whole R&R… Read and Review…

Thanks guys :)


	7. Return

**Authors note: TA DA! Longest chapter of the series, and for the right reasons ;)**

Silverymoon. It is a very short walk from Mithral Hall.

This trip, though, feels long as the coldest winters of Icewind Dale.

Cattie has left for the forest and we wait her return. Wulfgar has turned in for the night, as has Regis. Me and Bruenor stay up and talk.

"Ye worry about her as much as me, don't ye?" He asks me as I stare off into the woods behind me. I turn my attention to him and shrug slightly, Choosing a stick and poking at the fire between us.

"I worry about her a good enough amount. Not nearly as much as Wulfgar, one would wonder." I look to the sleeping barbarian, taking note of his limbs which were sprawled about the ground. He is deep in his sleep

"Ah, the boy does not worry about me girl. He worries about his own pride and nothin' else, I woulda figured ye'd know that. Yer a smart lad." I chuckle at him. He's got me there. "The boy needs to drop the ego. My Cattie won't warm up to 'im this way."

"Ha, its very true." I throw the stick into the fire and cross my arms on my legs, hunching over. I start thinking about what he said. It is sad that I know it to be true. If he doesn't drop his ego then he will be without a fiancée…

Which, in my case, is a good thing.

I try and push away the thought. What a terrible thought! I cant stand thinking this way about my best friends fiancée, who has been my friend since her dearest moments in childhood. And now I sit next to her father thinking such terrible things. I wish the worst on Wulfgar for my own gain? That seems as if I am not myself.

"Well If he truly wants her he'll-" Bruenor stops, staring at me for a moment. "Drow, what bothers ye?" I look to him.

"Say again?" I tell him.

"What bothers ye?" I shake my head and sigh. Apparently I am an open book by facial expression alone.

"She has been gone so long. It just worries me, as it worries you." I tell him. Its not a lie, again. Truly it isn't, I am deeply worried that she has caught herself in an unfixable position. I worry that some rogue elf has taken her hostage. Even worse, I worry over even the silliest of fears, one of said fears being that my kind has come to the surface and killed her brutally in a raid against the surface elves.

That, though, is just my imagination gone awry.

"Tell me, elf, ye keep something more inside?" he questions me with raised eyebrows. He knows me. Less than his rambunctious daughter but he knows me. I hear Regis snore loudly and Guen purr loudly as it lies next to where I sit. I shake my head no to the question.

"Nothing of concern." I smile at him a moment and lie back on the ground.

"are ye trying to tell a false tale to me?" he asked gruffly. "I am not a Dwarf to be lied to, I'm warning ye." he is going on a rant now and I shake my head, taking to the upright position once more.

"Bruenor, I did not tell you that I wasn't thinking of something, just that I wish not to ponder it, or express it outwardly." He shakes his head and strokes his beard.

"Drow. Never understood them, never will." He states as if I am not next to him. He is not angry, but frustrated that I will not tell him

"Come on old friend, do not be soar. I merely do not feel the desire to discuss such a fragile matter." I try to coax him into a sense of friendliness instead of his now argument state. He wrinkles his nose at me. He is very stubborn.

"Don't tell me not to be soar." he mutters to me. "I'll be good and soar as long as me wish." he declares.

"Is it so dire that you know what bothers me? Why does that bother you"

"'S not so much that me know what ye worry about, but that you told me that nothing was concerning you. Tha's what bothers me." I chuckle. He's acting childish.

"But I did not lie to you." I state plainly. His over reactions are quite frustrating, but more entertaining than anything. He shakes his head and turns to a rustling of leaves.

"There's me girl!" he bellows aloud. She comes out of the trees and half smiles at him. "oh, something be wrong with ye too." he growls.

"noth-" she starts but I shake my head no as to tell her not to tell him nothing is wrong. She looks at me strange but then to Bruenor. "I'll be sure to tell ye about it lat-"

"Excellent. Come sit between Drizzt and I and we will discuss this." Her shoulders slump and she follows her father over and sits next to me, looking exhausted. Regis snores again and mumbles something in his sleep.

"So what troubles ye?" Bruenor asks her, her hand in his. She sighs, staring at the ground. Something is truly bothering her. All I wish is to hold her close in comfort right now… but it wouldn't be appropriate. Guen walks over and puts its head under Cattie-Brie's hand, hoping that she will stroke it. Cattie-Brie complies with the desire.

"My feelings." she mumbles, but we both catch what she says.

"About Wulfgar?" I question her, intently. She nods at me and then shakes her head as if she doesn't know.

"I didn't know what to think… but I've narrowed it down to a terrible though." I fear moisture will cover her cheeks for the second time in one day.

"Ye think what? What be wrong with yer thoughts?" her father asks in a calm tone, calmer than he would ever offer to anyone else.

"I don't love 'im anymore." she sobs now. My heart freezes and my body goes slightly numb. I don't know if its in excitement, astonishment, or just in fear. I look to Wulfgars lazy body, which hasn't moved but an inch. He's still deep in his sleep. "I didn't feel anythin' earlier when I lie on 'im. And even the thought of him kissing me makes me feel repulsed sometimes… I do not wish him to be near me."

"Don't cry now." Bruenor says, patting her back. He looks around hopelessly. "Do ye want some water? Maybe ye need some water to calm ye down. Cool ye off." Cattie-brie nods at him and he stands up. "Cat, come with me." I see Guen take to its feet and follow Bruenor in the direction of a spring in the forest.

"Cattie-" she falls into my arms and cries into my cloak.

"I don't know how to tell him Drizzt." she sobs into my chest, clinging to my torso tightly. I hold her head close, feeling her soft strands one by one with my fingertips, stroking her back, trying to calm her. It is a perfect moment and nothing could ruin it. "It is sad to even think, but I love ye more than I love 'im, not to be sayin' it in a bad way, of course." this makes my heart sink. She is still referring to me as a brother in that love. I lean my head back and stare at the sky in a heartbroken frustration, then back down and I stare at her beautiful rich red roots. "ye know what I mean, Drizzt right?"

"Yes I do." I sigh. She pulls away from me and looks to her hands before looking up to my face. I see the beginnings of a smile.

"Yer eyes always seem to make all my worries melt away." she says in a calm, serene tone as she stares deeply into my lavender eyes. I hold my breath as if expecting her to say more as she stares. I notice the cherry red color of the tip of her nose, as is the same in her cheeks. It brings me wonderful feelings. Even the tears that were brought by pain are lovely on her cheeks, the wetness of the streaks reflecting the shine of the moon above and the fire next to us, just slightly. "ye always make my worries melt away." she chuckles and explores my face more before looking shyly to her hands. She doesn't enjoy crying, especially in front of someone, twice in one day. She sniffs and rubs her nose.

"I want you to know that you are a beautiful woman." I tell her sternly. She faces me more and I put my hand on her cheek. "You are intelligent and independent and anyone who cannot live with such a wonderful thing is a fool. You were made this way and made to be loved this way. I can't believe that he is so blind to what he has." she lets out a small sigh, as if an epiphany overcomes her body. "Cattie-brie-"

I am cut off and now my stomach is leaping as her hand covers my mouth.

"Please, Drizzt, don't say anything more." she told me sternly. I take her hand from my mouth.

"Why not?" I ask her.

"I may do something foolish." she says quietly, looking toward Wulfgar.

"But Cattie-Brie these are things you need to know!" I tell her enthusiastically. "Even as a brother figure to you, I should be able to tell you how wonderful you are and what your strengths are opposed to you hearing about your faults or thinking about them!" she stares at me in a thoughtful, yet slightly worried, way. I find myself not being able to hold back what I feel. "You are probably the greatest woman that I have ever met in my life, I've watched you grow from childhood and You need to know that you have grown well, into a wonderful woman and an even greater-"

I'm cut off again and my stomach isn't doing anything yet. Its taking me a minute to register what has happened.

One minute I was talking and the next…

Cattie-brie pulls back and covers her mouth with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry." she says in a terrified and shocked tone.

"Cattie-Brie…"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Drizzt Forgive me I didn't mean to."

"Didn't mean to?" I asked, still stunned. "Cattie-"

"Oh no." she buried her head in her hands. "Oh no, no, no. I'm sorry!" she's crying again and now my stomach has registered and my mind clicked back to reality.

"Why are you so sorry?" I ask her, finding it uncomfortable to move to face her. I pull her into my arms again.

"Drizzt, I'm engaged. He doesn't know I don't love him anymore… how can I tell him that…"

I see Bruenor behind us staring with raised eyebrows. He clears his throat and Cattie jumps, turning back to look at him.

She kissed me… Though it is the greatest moment of my life I know it will not blow over well…

^ - ^ well wha'd ya think? I wasn't intending on making the relationship begin so soon but… well… as a writer I hate waiting to get to the good part. Plus it seemed the greatest place to put it. I know its not much but there will be much in future chapters. Kind of scandalous. I think you'll like. Please R&R. I know this is the second chapter in two days. I got restless :)


	8. Confrontation

My father is not pleased with me. He is not pleased with us, not in the least. I could not have imagined this situation to be so insecurely awkward and mind-bending. In fact, I would not have ever thought of this situation in the first place…

But yet, it feels quite natural, as if it were meant to be, as if the balance of the world returned with the kiss I lay upon Drizzt's lips.

Ah, Cattie, stop it. I tell myself bowing my head, staring at the earth.

"What are we to tell him?" Bruenor growls, pointing at Wulfgar. "This is a whole bunch o' mess ye got yerself into, girl."

"Why must this be such a mess?" I question him flabbergasted "why is this situation such a crime? I do not love the man."

"Even as such, he believes it still to be so!" he yells at me. I stay frozen, staring at my father's face that matches the fiery color of his beard. "Ye be pushing me patience Drow, sitting there quietly as if yer not to blame." I see Drizzt glance incredulously at him.

"Because I told her the things that I bore in my soul, I am to blame?"

"So yer gonna let all the blame lie on the girl, eh?" he questioned. I looked back to Drizzt. He knit his ebony fingers into his white mane and thought out his response before he let it come out of his mouth.

"I will not let all the blame be put on her, But Wulfgar cannot condemn me for simply telling her the things she deserves to hear. The things he fails to tell her." He wore a cold, stern face. It frightened me to some degree but I knew that he would not take actions on such emotions that were sure to be writhing beneath his surface.

"Ye kissed the Drow…" I hear Bruenor mumble to himself, as if in disbelief, roughing up his hair with his hand. He never liked thinking about me with another man in the first place; I was sure in knowing that this was killing him to have seen me kiss my best friend, his greatest companion at that. "Does this mean ye both consider a relationship? Have ye been secretly considering this in yer minds for months, hell years?" We are both silent. I figure I'd let Drizzt respond but nothing comes from his mouth. His look of anger now is turned into one of guilt.

"I have considered nothing but the joining of me and me Wulfgar in a few months." I tell him meekly. "This is new. I knew not what I was doing, true to me word." He crosses his arms and stares at us, from Drizzt to me, to Drizzt again.

"Drow, yer silent and hesitant to respond." My father barks at him. I roll my eyes, not wanting Drizzt to obtain similar consequences because of an act I took on my own. I feel as if Drizzt's frustration is pouring over to me and he is making me quite uneasy. He seems as if he is having trouble responding to even the simplest words that come from the mouth of the stubborn headed dwarf.

"What do you want to hear?" he questions him, calmly. "Do you want to hear that the kiss didn't happen even though the act was committed before your very eyes? Do you want to hear that she, or even I, did not enjoy what a small kiss it was? What is it that you truly want to hear? She knows what she did; she knows that it was wrong; she knows the consequences that she will have to face. Why further this frustration and confusion that tumbles through her mind?" Bruenor stares at him without a word and I feel my body go numb with slight shock and worry. I worry that he will lash out and become increasingly angry at Drizzt.

"Did ye enjoy it Drizzt Do'Urden." He asks sternly "Do ye wish for a relationship with my daughter?" To this, Drizzt does not answer right away. He seems as if Bruenor has taken him by surprise, as if the answer to this question was a hard one. I watch him, wondering the answer myself. He looks to his hands, which are folded in front of him, then back up to my father.

My stomach flips as I anticipate the answer that will change us, change our relationship, forever.


	9. The Answer

I find this situation, in one simple word, petrifying. Not in the sense that I'm shying away, feeling so much of a coward as I would if I ran from an enemy, but petrifying in the sense that I do not know what the future will hold once I answer this dwarfs demanding question. What will this girl think of me? Will she feel the same?

What will the man lying only feet away from me think of this when he finds out? He will not be forgiving in the least and he will not approve. We may not even be companions anymore.

I have to take all of the factors of my life into thought before I answer. I cannot answer without thinking about this first, but I must answer in a few seconds or they will both become suspicious. I may choose not to say that I do love her deeply so I must hurry.

Second one… Wulfgar is not a forgiving man, he is a barbarian, and I am sure he does not have the kindest heart when it comes to the betrayal of his trust. And that kiss. Would we tell him about it, or would we telling him that we love deeply be enough to drive the man mad?

Second two… Cattie-Brie… Does she truly love me? Was it just an impulse? She was hurting and I was there to help her. I didn't return the kiss so she doesn't know that I love her with so much intensity. She does not know that all I wish is to hold her in my arms and caress her. She surely doesn't know… She doesn't know I would do anything she asked of me.

Second three… Bruenor is not happy. He never did like the fact that his girl was growing up and having strange impulses. But at the same time he knew that she would grow to be a woman with such great intensity in all that she did, an intensity that flows like a waterfall, spilling over into everything she says and does in every way. This intensity I love more about her than anything.

Second four… I love her, I know this. But taking all of these thoughts into mind I find myself having problems with getting the words out. But at the same time I don't see why it would be so insanely difficult. Bruenor would get over it, and the only thing that I question is my friendship with Wulfgar.

A side thought comes to my mind and makes me smile internally. _"I wouldn't mind having Bruenor as a father-in-law, though it would be strange."_

"I do…" I say in a strong, yet quiet voice. I can feel their eyes boring into my soul, staring deeply at me. I look to Bruenor first, His stare, at first, a startled one then a quite dark one. He doesn't know how to think, what to think. I look to the woman next to me, and hers is actually very light and I cannot tell what she is thinking at all. Her eyes are intense and beautiful, staring deeply into mine.

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Forgive me… its so short… but to give you an explination of why I haven't been typing. I'm in the middle of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and I'm Writing a novel of 50,000 words in a month, so I'm focusing my time on that. I am SO sorry that I haven't written. I wrote this a few weeks ago with full intent of finishing it but… I have to work on my NaNo really bad. I'll be back to typing regularly after the 30th

many loves and kisses to my people!

-Keirae


	10. Hell

**Me:** oh woe is me... no set plot line... *chin in hand*

*Poof*

**Me:** *gasp* who are you?

**Plot fairy:** I AM THE PLOT FAIRY, COME TO BRING YOU GIFTS OF THE CREATIVE SORT!

**Me:** CANDY?

**Plot fairy:** uh....

**Me:** I LOVE CANDY!

**Plot fairy:** no you Nitwit! plotline *facepalm* I will wave my magic wand and *poof*

**Me:** *eyes light up* OH MY GOD PLOTLINE!

**Plot fairy:** I fear this will not be the last time we will meet. *poof*

**Me:** *hugs plotline* EEEEEEE! HAPPEH! hope you enjoy 3 layin off the romance in the beginning so I can get an actual plotline. few more chapters and you get awesomeness by the way

Drizzt will be up very soon... like this afternoon, just fyi. I'm in a major writing mood. yum, writing. thank you Plot fairy ^^

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We draw close to Silverymoon, in fact we will be arriving within the hour. Regis walks with a skip to his step and Guen looks tired. I fear Drizzt may have forgotten that she needs her rest on the plain of her origin. I blame him not, though. We both are quite beyond ourselves with frustration, confusion. I look to him as I walk along side Wulfgar who is still attempting to wake up fully. I see my father's hand go out as a warning.

"Halt." He says, looking along the ground. "Elvish traps." He tells us, getting to his knee. I didn't even see them, the elves are quite tactical. My eyebrows furrow now. Such a large city setting out traps? They are becoming desperate for whatever reason. Whatever is a terror to them is strong and uncatchable. Everyone around me realizes this fact as well. I hear the creak of a bow and faster than I, myself, could blink mine was drawn back as well.

"Name yourselves!" a voice cries from the trees. She speaks Elvish so Drizzt looks to me with confusion covering his face. I hear another creak of the bow from the opposite direction. I turn to look at another tree and Wulfgar is ready, Aegis fang in hand.

"Ye elves call for our help and do not recognize us?" Bruenor cries in common tongue, rising. "That be an insult to me and me friends, one would wonder." The bows creak again, this time in slack and I see a woman jump down from the tree.

"My apologies." She says in common, bowing to us. I slack my bow and it hangs to my side. "I did not recognize the great Bruenor Battlehammer. I feel foolish for such; no dwarf other than you would travel with Drow or barbarians." Drizzt smiles kindly at her.

"It is no trouble at all. Forgive his tone of voice; He is quite sore from a quarrel we had this previous evening, take no offence from his words." Bruenor looks to him and I feel my stomach turn over uncomfortably "We seek passage to Silverymoon. It seems your situation is greater than we anticipated through the obvious need of traps." I walk over by him, careful not to get to close. The elvish woman nods.

"Yes. We are under great peril. It comes in the night, murders our people. We do not know how it continues to enter our cities as our gates are guarded and we have traps around the perimeter. There is no stopping it."

"It?" Wulfgar questions "you don't even know what it is?" the Elf shakes her head no with a look of worry upon her face.

"It moves like a demon in the night, It sees all when lights are do not shine, but avoids houses from which light shines much like the Drow. It has an evil noise, like the goblins of the Underdark that rings through the city, the only warning that it is near." I hear footsteps behind us and look back. A male elf has his bow on his shoulder and stands next to me.

"Its pattern in which it kills is not shown." He tells us. "It doesn't have a real reason to kill except for the sake of doing so. All we know is that once our lights are off no one is safe. People are left restless and those who dare dim their lights in hope of rest are struck with fear so they sleep with eyes open."

"I could just be a goblin." Bruenor states aloud. Drizzt shakes his head.

"They are not so clever. One would be killed by now and surely they would not travel alone." he turns his attention back to the woman "How many are killed a night."

"One household." she tells us softly. I look back and forth between Drizzt and my father, not daring to look at Wulfgar again.

"Well enough of the useless chatter." My father bellows. "Let ye be leading the way back to Silverymoon." The woman opened her mouth to protest but the male stopped her.

"Go ahead Saline, Lead them I will watch the road this night." her shoulders slack.

"Lindir," she starts but he stares at her sternly and she agrees and looks to us, a smile crawling across her face. "Come, Lady Alustriel is waiting for you." I walk along side her, taking the lead in front of the men. She looks back over her shoulder momentarily then back forward, letting out a sigh of worry.

"Why do ye seem to worry about the man?" I question. "He seems quite capable of taking care of himself." she shakes her head.

"He is mine husband." she alerts me with a smile. "This terror, I fear, may overcome him somehow. We've lost two major officers to the demon. We have gone to the level of calling for help twice now." she sighs again. "I pray that he makes it through the night."

"If he dies he will die fighting." Bruenor says, pushing rudely through us, taking the lead again. I shake my head in digust at him but Saline meerly smiles.

"This I know, he is a strong spirit and a wonderful man. I love him dearly and he makes me feel worth loving." she shakes his head. "I will not find someone like him if he is to die." she looks to me "do you have a man similar in your life." i stare at her a minute. it is as if the gods are finding ways to punish me.

"She has him in me." Wulfgar says aloud, wrapping his arm over my shoulder. My stomach is sent wild with anxiety and guilt as i look up to him then back to Drizzt he seems to have fallen back and he stares at me, as he sets the figurine down on the ground, sending Guenhwyvar back to her plain.

"My strongest congratulations to you," The woman tells me. I look back to her and nod, seeing my father look back to me. "I hope you have a happy life together." I couldn't think of a worse situation. I did not know her but she had managed to send me to hell with such few words. I wish she did know me so she would know not to provoke the pride within Wulfgar, she would know not to give him false hope.

She would know that when I went to nod I was truly meaning Drizzt. I hope that he knows I meant it that way when I nodded, if not I will be in the process of hurting two at once.

My emotions are changing rapidly and I am feeling this strong attraction to the man who trails behind, the man who is, most likely feeling the strain of seeing me with the one he knows I love not.


	11. Serenity

**_So i am in love with this chapter. Please please please Read and Review! i know its a hasstle but us writers live off of reviews!!! and if your a writer you know better than anyone! please?_**

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It's hard not to feel any spite now, at least a little bit of spite runs through me at this point and time. Why does he not catch that she does not love him anymore? Why did he not wake the night before to our fighting? It would have been so much easier to come to the words, she would have found it awkward but the words would have been easier to find. I see his arm wrap around her

"She has him in me!" he bellows loudly and I cringe and pause in my walk with them. Cattie looks back and I find way of busying myself by setting the figurine down and allowing Guenhwyvar to go to her plain. It is only now that I feel guilt for keeping her so long. I feel as if I have troubled one to many souls today.

So the woman I love knows my feelings, it is not as awkward as I would have figured. In fact, it isn't at all, but new emotions flood me. Scorn, hate, frustration. They are not so new for I have felt them, but toward a friend? They feel strange but so correct in placement. Toward him, the one who owns her more than I do?

I walk, yet I stop myself mentally. "_Own_". I feel a fool, like a pig.

Own.

Does such a word have to come to mind? It isn't a word to be used when talking of a woman, or even a person. Nobody should be owned or feel as if they are owned, the exact reason that I feel the way I do toward the man that is at her side. She feels unlike herself. Ever since Wulfgar became her one and only she has decreased in personality and increased in frustration and stress. She has never been this way, in all the years I watched her grow she has never been so determined to keep herself higher than someone else and at the same time be pushed down lower than such a person. In a few years she may lose all of her stubbornness and simply submit to every beck and call the man utters.

At this my soul burns within me with deep anger.

I enjoy every time we take a trip to Silverymoon. I love the setting and the city is very large but quaint at the same time. I observe the setting as we come upon Lady Alustriel's dwelling. She greets us outside with a large smile.

"Drizzt." She says aloud with a smile covering her face. She embraces me and I embrace her back. Bruenor shakes his head as I do, still quixotic about the relationship we hold. Though of no romantic nature there have been untrue assumptions, most often made by the Dwarf. I would have figured he would have let the thought go but now he thinks of me in disgust, thinking that I toy with both women's emotions. How fast the good fall in the minds of others. Once held highly now I am thought of quite low by him.

"It warms my heart to see you in such good health, Alustriel." I tell her whole heartedly and with a grin on my face. "We have heard of your troubles, how many have been stricken down?"

"Over fifty families in the past few months." She says with the upmost sincerity on her face. She looks among us for a minute. "Dear Cattie-Brie." She says, motioning to her for an embrace. Cattie complies with her request.

"It's taken ye this long to call fer our help?" Bruenor asks gruffly, looking up to me then to Alustriel. "I would have though ye would have better sense and called us first."

"Bruenor." Cattie says strictly with a look of discontent nature toward him.

"Do not worry." Alustriel alerts her with a laugh. "I feel myself a fool for not. I feel confidence in the fact you will help our community in a greater way than one would find possible." She smiles. "It will come in the night, until then we will provide you with lodgings and you may roam where you see fit. " She motions and two elvish men come forward.

"If you'll follow us, we'll lead you to your lodgings." I nod, following behind Bruenor and Wulfgar who take the lead. Cattie trails behind

* * *

I lie on the bed that is mine for the next week or so until we find out what the menace is and kill it. Many thoughts roam through my mind. For the time being I will bunk with Wulfgar, unfortunately, feeling all of these emotions spill through me. I feel guilt and contrast to guilt is anger. He has gone, though to explore the city with Bruenor.

"Drizzt?" a voice questions outside the door. I hear the door crack slightly, the voice now recognizable as Cattie-Brie's. She peeks in "What are ye doing? Today is a beautiful day." She says happily. I chuckle as I hear that her accent is fading. I can always tell when it is fading, even the slightest bit. Her voice is beautiful and flows, the words like music flowing through my soul.

"I do not find myself up to enjoying it today Cattie-Brie." I tell her, taking my hands out from behind my head and sitting up, feet hanging off the bed. I hear the door shut after a moment to see her inside the room. She leans against the room, looking at the floor but not putting her head down.

"I've been thinking we should probably talk about this." She said, almost questioningly. I breath a laugh and shake my head.

"I don't know what more there is to say." I tell her softly. "You know that I love you." I say, a pain in my soul as I say it as if I were nervous. Maybe it truly is just pain, fearing she will stay with Wulfgar after all. She remains silent and I sigh. "I don't know what to say." I echo again.

"Me biggest problem," She begins in a slightly more powerful voice. "I do not know how much these feelings I have for ye are real. I know they are real but are they love, or love of a brother like figure." These words run through me like a knife. I do not know what to say to this especially. If I figured I had lost my words before I was truly a fool. She walks over to me and stands in front of me with her eyebrows furrowed. She pinches the bridge of her nose.

I stand and look down at her, putting my hands on her shoulders.

"Cattie, do not stress yourself over this." I warn her. "Whatever your heart says should be what you do."

"It tells me I do not want Wulfgar." She tells me. "But ye already knew that didn't you." She fumbles with her hands and I watch her intently. She shakes her head, her hair brushing over my hand. I catch some of it between my fingers and twirl it in my finger, not thinking it quite strange at all. I feel normal playing with the strands as such.

I stare down deeply into her beautiful eyes and brush my hand up her cheek, my middle finger brushing the lobe of her ear and resting there. She is warm and her look is both of anxiety and curiosity. My stomach flows wildly, butterflies increasing and murdering the once dwelling pain of rejection and a swell of love and nervousness fills my breast. I lean in close to her, our noses brushing just lightly and I feel the warmth of her lips under mine. She is so soft and her lips mock such softness. She is not fragile but at the touch she feels more fragile than anyone would ever guess her to be. She breaths in sharply and sighs as my lips move with hers.

Her small hands wrap behind my head and I knit my hand in her hair softly, caressing the back of her neck. All worries melt away and I feel a deep sense of success flow through me.

I stop the kiss and look down at her. She looks dizzy, as dizzy as I feel, and let's out a sigh. She then leans against my torso and wraps her arms around me. I hold her close.

"Well… this truly is a great mess we've gotten ourselves into." She says quietly to me with a small chuckle and then another serene sigh. I let out a sigh of my own, trying to relieve the swelling sensation I feel behind my ribs.

"Truly," I echo. "The perfect affair, one would wonder."

"Affairs are never perfect Drizzt." She alerts me. I smile and she backs up, staring up at me.

"They are when you have all you've ever wanted before you." She grins widely and shakes her head.

"Why couldn't it have been you all along?" she questions me. I shake my head, not answering her questions, leaned in once more and kissed her deeply, lifting her from the ground.

Serenity wrapped around us, froze time, and I wish I could stay in this moment forever

* * *

**_AGAIN! R&R!!! THE PLOT FAIRY COMES WHEN I RUN OUT OF PLOT AND I RUN OUT OF PLOT WITH NO MODIVATION! HELP! THE PLOT FAIRY DOES NOT LIKE ME!!!_**


	12. Hopeful

**A/N I have to start off with I can't believe how long I've put this off! Its awful! My poor story! *caresses story* its ok though, cause I'm back and stress free. Been swamped with a lot of negative emotion so haven't felt the need but now I feel its my duty and I have to continue this.**

* * *

Words cannot fathom how completely dizzy I feel, how great I feel, but, at the same time, how sick this makes me. I go behind Wulfgars back, It is far to late to deny that there is any wrong in the relationship Drizzt and I have. It is also to late to deny Drizzt completely. I could not if I wanted to.

Its been hours since our "passionate exchange", as Drizzt so aptly words it now, and we sit in the room, expecting the two to return as soon as possible. We've been waiting like this, cautiously, for an hour at least. We submerge ourselves in conversation, drawing all thoughts away from this time that we have together…

Together and alone.

"Yer tenseness is quite hilarious," I tell him with a laugh-like ring to my voice as a silence comes over us, for once in a long time. He looks over to me incredulously. It is true that he is tense, no doubt everything that could go wrong goes through his mind. I wonder what he thinks, I could only imagine such. I guess, though, that our ideas are not so different from each other. Even as such I try and lighten the mood with the question.

"Do you truly think so?" He questions, a mock like tone smothering the would-be serious question, otherwise. I straighten up, a smug look working its way across my face. I nod once and hold my head high playfully. He chuckles at my expression and shoves me lightly. I look back to him, my mouth gaping only slightly. He shrugs. "You called me out, that, alone, does not deserve any less." I squint my eyes and grab the nearest pillow and shove it at him. He is quick though, as I stupidly tossed to the back of my mind.

He grabs the pillow out of mid air and stares at me unamused.

"Now your just asking for it." He alerts me with a grin. My eyebrows rise in amusement.

"Oh, am I now? What tricks are up this Drow's sleeve that he would pull against me?" I question, turning my head to Gwen who sits in the corner. Her only response is a yawn and she lies her head on her paws. Without the slightest realization of what happens I feel myself being grabbed by the waist and spun to fall on my back, harmlessly, on the bed. I find that the shock of the sudden movement stirred me more than the actual act itself. Drizzt stands now and I hear a noise, the noise of someone entering. I lie my head back, off the bed and let my hair hang. I could not ask for a more perfect time for the two to come back from exploring the town. If we sat together I fear someone would question our afternoon more than wished. If we had been lying, that would have been a totally different, and more terrible, story in itself.

Bruenor stares on through the threshold at both of us, a cold and straight face he wears. His look is not quite of questioning, but it is a look that demands confirmation from the both of us that nothing transpired between us within the last few hours. Wulfgar though, walks over and stares down at me.

"What have you two love birds been doing?" He questions, sitting down by me. I sit upright and I feel nausea suddenly rack my body, a feeling I never wanted to feel again. I have an urge to stand and rush to the bathroom but dare not. I fear it would look suspicious.

"She hasn't been feeling quite well." Drizzt explains to Wulfgar, as if he read my mind. I look up to him then back down, nodding and holding my arms to my stomach.

"I wonder why." Bruenor says, coldly. Wulfgar looks back to him and I do as well, my eyes begging him not to continue his accusing tone. He sighs at my face and only looks to the side. "Bah, tha' girl'll be fine." he growls, waving his hand my way. "I'm headed to me quarters. Two hours and we be meeting down outside." I see Drizzt nod in confirmation and Wulfgar sits by me and as his hand touches me I take my leave to outside. I find my father standing out but pass him up completely, taking to relieving my stomach beside the house in the bushes. I've never truly felt this way before, the only thing that I think could be worse would be Betrayal, the effect that will befall Wulfgar because of my actions, my feelings.

"Quite a mess ye've gotten yerself into." I hear Bruenors voice, softer than usual but still rough with the ring of his accent. I wipe my mouth, hands shaking from the fatigue. I can only nod to the statement, nothing more. I don't find that dignifying him with an answer at this time is wise, or even possible. "Tha boy deserves to know what schemes carry on behind his back." My chest feels heavy when I think of telling him. He is so large and I do not know him angry, truly angry at least. The only time he ever seems as such is in battle,

And in battle those he fumes against are killed with the simplest of strikes.

"I-I fear this." I say softly, shakily. Its hard to produce the words that are so simple. I move to sitting in the grass and Bruenor puts his hand in a very comforting and fatherly way onto my back.

"Get yerself to yer feet." He tells me, moving to pull me to stand. "I didn't raise ye to be so low on yerself like this. It looks bad on me." I help myself up. It makes me chuckle internally to see him change so quickly from my father to the dwarf who raised me enforcing his rules.

"This truly is all quite silly." I tell him. "Confusing." He nods.

"Just don't go off-" He pauses in his sentence and looks as though he doesn't want to finish. "Don't go off givin' yerself to the Elf." he orders, pointing his thick pointer finger up at me. He has increased his volume of his voice to emphasize such an order. My eyes widen slightly and my hand goes to my chest. I am taken slightly aback. "Oh, don't ye be even trying to look innocent with your big eyes, and your curious look. Yer a woman I know what burns in yer loins. Lust." He scowls a bit and turns, marching toward the door. I can't help but cover my mouth in hilarity as I watch him. It infuriates him to even think of such. He barley could think of Wulfgar and I in such a way, but now the Drow. There must be so much going through his poor Dwarf mind. I feel for him, truly

I look up to the sky and sigh, trying to get the anxiety to leave my body, and then follow him inside. It won't be an easy task. But keeping such anxiety will only give me more struggle in the battle ahead in the night. It will be a long one, but I am assured that we will find the fiend, I will capture my fear, and both will be destroyed.

* * *

**R&R, if you please. Again, sorry its so late! oh and tell me if my grammer and punctuation is getting better. I'm workin on it! ^^**


	13. Motivation

**A/N: Now, in this one I'm putting one of my ideas, that's also shown in my Zaknafien fan fiction "Origins" (please read if you like this story, it's good). It's a theory about the Lavender eyes, so no bashin'!**

**R&R as always ^^**

* * *

I lean on the outside of the complex we have taken refuge in for the next while. Everyone has been readying themselves to face the menace that awaits us and will, for sure, fall without the demise of any elf in the area. My mind is actually quite clear at this moment, every thought that I focus on is strategy. Strategy is the most important thing right now, though I fear that something may happen to one of my friends.

Especially Cattie-Brie.

I sigh, rubbing my face with my hands for a second and brushing my white mane from my face. I pull my cloaks hood to cover it, for white hair, even in the dark of night, is noticeable. I scan the dark area that we have alerted all to abandon. Not one candle is lit and everyone is safe on the light side of town. The Killer will either be stupid enough to fall to this trap, or shake our world with something that is not quite perceived because of his previous path of mayhem and destruction.

"Tense?" I hear a voice question, hand on my shoulder. I look over and see Wulfgar lit dimly under a torch he has lit for himself. My stomach turns and I look down.

"You have no idea." I more than whisper. It pains me to feel his hand on my shoulder. I fear, now, that battle will be very difficult this night. I don't know if I've ever felt so much pain in my being… Maybe when I killed one of my own kind, maybe then did I feel this much pain. I kill more than that now. Friendship I wish I could keep.

I am not the same person I was before. I fear that I've developed and adapted to this world… or to my families ways, possibly. My mother was not unfamiliar with the act of adultery, cheating, lying. Maybe humans and Drow are not quite the same but maybe they are at the same time, an even scarier thought than Wulfgars rage. Now I find myself wondering whether or not I was influenced by one or the other.

How could I have been influenced by the humans of this world as I have been around only one in my life. But I have lived on the surface in the vital years of my existence so maybe I have adapted to such ways. And, on that note, how could I have been influenced by my kin? They are a terrible race, though I find it could be my nature to do such.

"You should loosen up. Maybe you'll get a kiss from the lady if you kill-"

"I find it hilarious how you figure I have some interest in the lady." I laugh at Wulfgar. He looks to me.

"Well you should find some form of motivation to kill this menace. A kiss from the lady, Hell the thought of even something more than _that_ from her, would be enough to get me motivated." He laughs and I look to him. I feel something burn in me when he speaks of another woman, other than his own, this way. I do not take it to mind though because I know what he means. He wants me to have great motivation.

What is my motivation? Do I have such besides the need to protect the city? Cattie-Brie can protect herself so that is no motivation. If she becomes injured, then, maybe I would but otherwise, no.

Bruenor walks out and eyes Wulfgar by me. He sighs gruffly then shoves him.

"Boy, let us be patrollin' the streets." He says loudly, pushing forward by his lower back. Wulfgar looks back to me for a moment but I shrug at him.

I watch them walk down the streets and let out a breathy sigh. I pull out my figurine and whisper Guenhwyvar's name. The smoke swirls around my hand and then to the ground, revealing the panther ready for battle.

I feel a lighter hand on my shoulder and I look to see Cattie-Brie by me with a small smile on her face.

"Ye should loosen up ye silly Drow." She tells me with a small laugh. I cannot smile back and I replace the figurine. Her face becomes troubled. "Ye shouldn' go into battle with a mindset like ye surely have. I be havin' it as well but we cannot let this bother us."

"What is my motivation to go into this battle, Cattie-Brie Battlehammer?" I question her, looking straight ahead. I'm more thinking aloud than anything.

"Motivation?"

"I find myself troubled by the thought of you and Wulfgar." I tell her bluntly. I sigh and rub my eyes. "I do not wish to hurt him, yet I know either way, now, we are buried to deep to do this." I now look to her and she looks hurt, confused as if she does not know what I mean. "If we win this battle, if we kill the evil that is destroying the people of this city, you must tell Wulfgar. I cannot keep living this lie as I have been."

"And-" she pauses. Then her face becomes more strong and stubborn. "And if we're not quite up to game tonight and do not kill it?" I look to her with a smile.

"That's why it is called motivation. I need such to be able to go into this with my all. Otherwise my thoughts will overwhelm me, as will this guilt, this writhing and painful guilt. If we do not kill it this night, this will be my motivation once more, and so on and so forth." I turn to her and put one hands on her shoulders and one under her chin, bringing her to level with my face.

I kiss her again, lightly only for a few seconds. I wish it not to be so brief but I fear the patrol coming back around through this side of the town.

"You, I find motivation in having you, for real not as it is in this affair we unrightfully share."

* * *

"Damned elf!" Bruenor yells as we come upon them battling. There is a torch lit, whether or not it was lit the entire time or only when the evil came upon them I know not. I see, just as well as I would have seen without the light, the multiple forms of Goblins. The sight throws me off guard for a second. It is not custom for Goblins to dwell this far from their homes.

I un-sheath my scimitars and run ahead of Bruenor and bash the hilt into the face of an unsuspecting Goblin. It stumbles backward, shocked and, Scimitars in an X formation, I slice off its stupid little head.

One stumbles behind me, yelling and growling stupidly, and I turn quickly to catch its weapon with mine and throwing my foot into its torso, sending it backwards.

"This is the threat?" I question angrily. "How could elves-" I'm cut off being caught from behind by the throat by one of the Goblins, only to be released seconds later as it is caught in its eye by an arrow from Cattie-Brie's hand. She draws a second and I duck away from the Goblin as it plunges in his chest, spurting blood from both wounds. It falls to its knees with a gurgling sound erupting from its throat.

"This cannot be the threat!" Wulfgar yells, throwing his hammer into the chest of one, then another.

"A distraction!" yells Bruenor. I hear Regis, who has just now joined the party, let out a startled yell as a Goblin come after him, arms out in front as if to take him up. It falls to the side as Cattie catches it in the temple with another arrow and Guen jumps on its back, making sure it's dead. Regis looks back to it and pauses, fumbling about his chest to get his gem ready for turning any of the remaining enemies about to attack their brethren.

"Cattie!" I yell. She catches my eye. "We should-"

I pause as a scream is heard from the lit part of town. My stomach turns over as I turn my sight to where it came from. Soon many yells erupt from the city. The last Goblin falls by Bruenors hand and we all start in a run toward the town.

* * *

_She moves lightly, as if her feet are not touching the ground. She loves the feel of the blade cutting through flesh of the Elves. Its only what this city deserves after all, in her eyes. The hair on her arms rises as she hears the blood curdling scream of the ones around her and the one that is now at her sword._

_The sword is drawn from the elves torso and she wipes her sword of the blood and turns to see Guards running._

_"Where are the Companions?" One yells shrilly as he notices her. She squints as they hold torches, making the area that much more lit. It bothers her eyes and she can barley suppress the headache that develops. She ignores it though, running lightly on her feet and catching one guard in battle. Another comes behind her and she draws out her second sword, a Drow crossbow fixed to the hilt. She fires quickly and catches one in the neck with the dart and another in the chest with her sword._

_The Guard at her opposite sword is left headless on the ground. She laughs aloud and licks her lips, wetting them because they are becoming chapped as she breaths through her mouth._

* * *

I stare at the girl, white hair tied back in a lengthy ponytail and regret to see the ebony color that marks her for what she is. A guard falls to her feet and she turns to me. I see a smile creep across her face.

"Drow." she states with a deep lust in her voice. _Bloodlust_

She charges me and Cattie draws her bow back but misses completely as the Drow girl comes for me. I ready my scimitars.

I now notice the small thing about her. Her skin is paler than mine, though not much paler than any normal Drow. No normal person could notice the difference. She, also, speaks with an elvish dialect drifting across her voice and her hair, no it's not only white. It's pale, very pale, but it is blond. The last thing I see nearly takes my breath from me…

Lavender eyes.

Her swords clash with mine and I catch each movement of hers. She stops and backs up though. Taking a stance on the ground.

"You are same me." She tells me in Elvish, though I do not understand much. I know she has said more but that is the most of my understanding.

"I'm nothing like you." I tell her in my birth tongue. She tilts her head to the side and smiles.

"You speak the Drow language fluently as well." she states with a smile upon her face, in Drow as well. "What of your elvish? What has your mother, or father, taught you of such?" I charge her again and she catches my sword with hers, almost shocked I am attacking her.

"I have no elvish parents. "I tell her simply, pushing her back and going in for the kill, but she parries quickly.

"Oh, so you are the Do'Urden." she says to me with a laugh. "Oh how I've waited to meet you." she lets out a loud, ringing laugh, pushing me backwards and stabbing forward in a thrust that I almost could not parry. Guenhwyvar growls but u put my hand out to stop her from pouncing at the girl.

A bow creaks behind her and she pauses, turning back.

"Oh humans…" She says to me with a laugh. "Foolish humans."

She swings around and, like a knife through butter, cuts the arrow, that was headed for her back, in half. I stare a minute and Cattie-Brie is taken by a greater surprise than any of us. She then charges the woman I love with her sword and-

I catch her by the throat, torn between killing her and letting her live. I swore, long ago, never to kill another of my kind…

Before I can decide she snaps her fingers and disappears into smoke.

I stared at the destruction around me and cannot yet fathom anything that has gone on. Cattie-Brie lets out her breath in a huge huff, letting me know that she had held it in anticipation of the attack.

"Damn dark elves." Bruenor grumbles, tossing his blood covered axe to the ground and heading to his daughter, as well as Wulfgar.

"This is the reason I fear her coming into battle with us." Wulfgar grumbles aloud, setting my anger off. I'm already fuming from the stupid half-drow woman.

"Fear not for me sake, Wulfgar." she tells him almost strictly. "I coulda handled it if she came an' attacked me." She has forgotten about her near death experience and taken to her frustration of his attempt at suppressing her. "Come on, Drizzt" She walks by me, grabbing my cloak to follow close behind. I can only imagine what floats through Bruenors mind. I comply, though.

"Do not listen to what he says." I tell her lightly. She scoffs.

"Don't be takin' his side now" she growls at me. "You may need new motivation if he keeps makin comments like that." I chuckle at her and follow her.

I do not know why, but I feel bold. Grabbing her by the shoulder I turn her to me, looking around.

"Tonight… meet me here so we can talk about this more. If you are feeling this way maybe you shouldn't be only my motivation. Maybe we should take action as soon as possible." she stares at me, then down. She nods, knowing I'm right.

"Alright. Tonight we'll meet here." she lets out a sigh and looks to the building we stand by. "The armory." she murmurs to herself and turns back to walk to our living quarters. My thoughts are drifting to the girl still. She had Lavender eyes like mine… How could it happen to be that a drow woman of half elvish blood came to have such…

Maybe this is the secret behind my eyes, behind my nature? How could Zaknafien have been half? How could my mother not have known?

Wulfgar, Regis, Guen, and a fuming Bruenor now are following close behind.

* * *

**R&R, you know... if you forgot from before.**


	14. Unexpected

I wait quietly, patiently I might add, to meet Drizzt this night. I know that it will not be an easy task as my father has a restless sleep and the drow keeps a room with my to-be husband.

I cringe at the thought. They are awful words to be playing through my mind, my already confused and flustered mind.

I hear my door open suddenly and look up in a quick glance. Bruenor and Wulfgar have come from outside and the Barbarian stares at me a minute, looking as if he was trying to bring something to his understanding.

"I am not a jealous man." He huffs at me. At that I go cold, fearing that Bruenor has said something. From the look that sits on his smug face, he has. "You drag the elf off after I state something that has always been on my mind and then I see the both of you conversing over something I know not?" I stare at him, worried he knows, but more worried of his reaction to come. "What do you say about me to him? I sure as hell have never heard one thing you say from him himself, so why not you, then? Why can I not be the one you come to, talk to more than the simple angry words you say when I say something that offends you."

"Ye do not listen." I shoot back, gaining my thought back. "Ye never have, ye are a stubborn arse! And pray tell why should I not have the ability to speak to the elf? We are close, how are ye knowin' that we speak of you?" I am now close enough to his face I can smell the goblin blood that still lingers on him.

"What is there saying that you aren't?" he whispers dangerously. I am not shaken by the tone, though. He does not scare me.

"Alright ye two, enough o' that fussin'" Bruenor says, coming between us. "Can we not just make up?" I now see what he is trying to do. He did nothing more than fill his head with more stubborn thoughts, trying to make me tell him in a burst of anger.

"What is going on here?" Drizzt asks as he walks around the corner and into the room. He tries to keep his defensive quality hidden, but is not skilled in such. Wulfgar spins around and stares at Drizzt.

"What do you talk about, Drizzt Do'Urden? Does she curse my name, does she damn my existence?"

"Now boy, don't be takin' this too far." Bruenor says, now more defensively of me. "Me girl wouldn' be damnin' yer name if her life were on the line for such words." Wulfgar paces the floor now, trying to find some sense in his words. Drizzt looks to me with an almost pleading look, hoping that I will muster the courage to tell him that I do not love him anymore.

The words are hard to fathom though. I cannot think of what I would even begin to say.

"Are we to be married if we cannot speak to each other on common ground?" Wulfgar questions me. I hear his words and almost go numb at the sound of them. He shakes his head. "I fear that this may be the wrong path for the both of us." I let out a light breath, a shocked reverse gasp. I feel as if with such words the problem is lifted from my shoulders. He has been questioning as well as I. I see Drizzt, standing tall and stiff. He seems as if he were not expecting the words as much as I. "No. I fear this isn't the right path at all."

With the solid words, he leaves the room. Bruenor, Drizzt and I stand quietly for a moment. Only a second passes before both the drow and I each get a disapproving glance from my father.

"Now look what yer messin' around did to the boy." He growls, turning to me. "And when he finds ye have found a lover in the elf, what will he do?" Bruenor shakes his head and follows Wulfgars leave, walking down the hall. I hear him mumble the words "lover" in spite as he leaves, and I have to hold back a small chuckle and Drizzt smiles at the comment.

Drizzt can only stare at me for a moment, wondering what move I may make, what I may say. I cannot yet find the words. He comes forward, though, and takes me into his embrace. I wrap my arms around his torso and sigh, shaking my head.

"I did not want him to make the first move for the end of this relationship." I tell Drizzt who sighes, tightening the embrace. "I feel this undying guilt, more than before." He nods and strokes my hair lightly.

"I would love to discuss this here, but I fear listening ears. Bruenor might have even spoken to loud for this place." He pushes me back and looks down at me with an assuring smile on his face. "Tonight, remember." I nod, looking down and un-strap what holds my bow and arrows to my back and he leaves.

I'm left alone with my thoughts.

I start out the door, very, very cautiously. I cannot be caught by anyone; at least I tell myself that. Surely if Bruenor were to catch me he would show his upmost disapproval once again, for the second time tonight. If it were Regis, well the Halfling would probably become too curious for his own good.

And if it were to be Wulfgar, I may not go at all this night, out of guilt and frustration.

The night is fair, moon shining above. Midnight has come quicker than I would have thought and I figure Drizzt is waiting patiently, or impatiently, for our conversation, probably the most vital one of our relationship, to start. I half walk, half run through the streets, feeling the surprisingly crisp and cool air on my face. I shiver lightly in the cold, searching all the houses and shops for the sign I saw earlier.

The armory is not easy to find, unfortunately. It was not a clear shot to the dwelling from where the Drow was previously. I stop to think about the drow woman. She spoke both fluent elvish and drow… It was strange enough to see another drow, and on the surface!

But she spoke the elvish tongue…

I gasp suddenly as I feel two strong hands on me. I can decipher who it is by the mere grasp and turn on my heel to stare up but I do not meet the eyes I figured I would.

Drizzt is surprisingly strong. He smiles down at me.

"You seem lost." He tells me with a chuckle on his tone. I shake my head at him and throw my hand lightly into his chest.

"Yer a damned fool. How dare ye sneak up on me. Nearly killed me with that move, ye did." I let out a sigh, more of relief than fear and he pats my shoulder.

"I find that statement hard to believe." He states, leaning up against the building we are by. I cross my arms and stare at him, taking a lean like stance and smiling. "So where do you find you and Wulfgars relationship lies?"

"I see none, now. He finds it to be a fool's idea anyways." I can't help but feel a light pain in my heart at those words. Did he ever love me in the first place then? If we both cannot stand each other, cannot talk to each other, how long has he had this thought, as long as I?

Drizzt's light hearted expression falters as he furrows his eyebrows, thinking as I am. He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.

"This, though, neither I nor ye, find a fools idea." I state with a smile. He returns it and shakes his head, lightly, showing all of his gratitude for such a fact in that stare, that piercing stare.

I cannot draw my eyes from him, his whole being entrances me, fills me to burst with happiness beyond comparison, beyond comprehension. I feel as if I wish for this relationship to be the one that had gone on the entire time.

And those eyes…

He doesn't hold back now, and takes me, with both hands on either side of my face, into a deep kiss, deeper than anything I've ever experienced (with Drizzt of course). Wulfgar, who's kisses like this always seemed rough and dominant, were nothing compared to the surprisingly gentle touch this drow brings to me.

His tongue, foreign to me, slips between my lips, mingling with my own. I snap back in surprise and he stares at me a moment. Before I can barley comprehend his apologetic stare, my lips are once again his to do with what he will. They mold perfectly together, our lips do, it's uncanny. I feel my stomach start to form into a knot, a sickening knot that is molded with so much emotion and love that I feel weak at the knees. His arm, though ,wraps around my back and pulls me up, supporting me to stand.

He is not the Drizzt I once knew, now, as I am not the same woman he watched grow to full. He is more to me, and I want him to be. I wish he had always meant this much, I wish that this was not the first passionate kiss we have exchanged…

I wish I had always been his.

I fear that, this night, I will break the promise that my father made for me with his angry words.

"_Don't ye go off givin' yerself to the elf."_


	15. Passion

Switching views through this chapter guys ^^. Thought it would be fun. A lot of implied themes here (obviously) but it's not Smut, thank you very much. I write fan fiction, not smut. (no offense to those who do. I read it and laugh sometimes)

Sorry, btw, that this has taken so long. I've been out of school for about seven days because of sickness, getting license, and snow days and this was where I saved it. Enjoy ^^ please R&R

* * *

My memories are drawn to that moment in Menzoberranzan now. All those fumes filling my body and making everything droop and seem like nothing else meant anything anymore. All I could feel was my body rising and the sensation of the Priestesses, sliding their hands up my thighs, bidding me to join them.

Reality quickly returned then.

There is no word for love in Menzoberranzan. The only word close is absent from my mind at the moment. And though there is no word for Love, I felt and knew that something was missing, knew that my first time was not to be without emotion and connection. I was not to be the dog of a Priestess that night, and this was why.

Cattie-brie, at my lips, fumbles with the knob of the armory behind her. We're both a bit awkward and jittery, knowing that it's not the greatest place or time but our minds have melted beyond the point of caring, one would wonder.

* * *

He roams with his hands, rather than his eyes, trailing from my lips down my chin, to my neck. I hadn't imagined he would be so skilled with his hands. In truth I thought that he would be quite a bit more awkward and we'd share a good laugh.

A sharp breath is drawn. It is mine. I feel his teeth sinking into my flesh, not so deep as to pierce the skin but enough to shock my nerves. His hands are cold as I feel the tips of his fingers trace the hem of my shirt. The hair on my arms rises as a chill runs through my body and causes me to shiver as he nips lightly at my skin.

I am nervous, more than I have been in a long time. A day… It's been a day since we found we loved each other but we've known each other for so long. How can a relationship such as mine and Wulfgar's inch so agonizingly slow past as if hours are days and days are weeks, but the one I hold with this Drow makes seconds into years in the most amazing ways and I wish them to move slower? Vexing… truly vexing.

It's been a day but I don't seem to care.

* * *

It's been a day but I can't find any reason to stop. I trail light kisses up her stomach, hearing a sigh break from her throat with an edge to it. My armor is on the floor as well as the rest of the clothing that previously was on my upper body. As I kiss up her torso I allow her clothing to join mine on the floor in a forgotten pile.

I pull her into another kiss, feeling her warm flesh against mine. That feeling, the feeling that the fumes in that graduation room tried to mock was the simple feeling of passion and love between two people. I see this now. The lack of such emotion drew them to create it themselves. I smile in our kiss as I realize that I may be the only Drow in existence that has ever felt the emotion without the fumes that drug the senses.

I come to realize, though, what a dangerous thing love is. If it can be simulated by fumes, does that make love a drug itself? It blurs the senses, drowns out all reality, and leads you to do things that may affect you in the future, let it be positive or negative.

I can't, and won't, stop myself though. Unless I get a negative response from the one I have at my hands, my lips, my body. The only reason I tell myself this is because I know for a fact that I could not draw myself from this situation by sheer will alone. It would take a million goblins to keep me from her at this point.

* * *

I cannot help but feel guilty. Even as he is not peering upon me, I feel as if I want to cover myself. A breeze caresses my body just as he does and what I feel is overwhelming and I almost feel drunks with emotion. My stomach turns, my knees lock, my chest heaves in heavily heated breath.

He feels me start to fall and picks me up. There is a single table in the middle of the place. Though I know it isn't the fantasy place I would have wished to be taken, it will surely be memorable.

He sets me down and breaks off the kiss.

"What-" I start, feeling a bit of disappointment fill me. He puts up his finger and grabs his cloak, lying it behind me.

"You really want to lie on a hard table?" he wondered, fixing it so no creases lie in the green fabric. I smile as he returns to me. He puts his knee on the table and I lean back so he has room to climb over me. His hair, hanging over his shoulders, tickles my face and my shoulders. "Even if you didn't mind I would not have it, Princess." I make a face at the name and almost protest. Princess, a title that could indeed be mine if I wanted it. I, though, do not like it. He pushes his lips to meet mine before I can get a chance to deny the nickname as my own.

My stomach turns again and I feel nervous again, kind of scared. Awkward, worried.

I break the kiss, looking to the wall with furrowed eyebrows

* * *

I can't help feeling a bit frustrated as she looks to the wall instead of me. Then I feel nervous, swallowing hard at the look that mars her beautiful complexion.

"Cattie-"

"Drizzt… I don't know if I can do this." She mumbles lightly. I then sigh, not meaning to make her feel guilty. "I- I can." She starts again, reluctantly but with intensity in her voice.

"I will not make you do something you don't want to." I tell her, my eyebrows furrowed as well. "This may not be the time or the place, Cattie-Brie. If not now, sometime later."

"I just- - I made a promise to me father, and Wulfgar--" I kiss her lightly and slide off the table, helping her to sit up. She stares at me with a furrowed brow and I sigh, brushing her hair from her face.

"I love you, and I understand, Ok?" She sighes and leans into me, holding me close.

Dissapointment overcomes me indefinately. Love is a drug… and I've, truly, overdosed this night.


	16. Changes

It has been FOREVER since I updated! I AM SO SORRY! I've been busy with graduation, moving out, finding jobs as well as myself and I haven't even been writing for myself lately, I just got tired of it but HERE WE GO! We're back on track and I have a new direction for the story that I'm not sure if you'll like or not but I'm gonna go with it.

Enjoy J tell me what you think if you want

I rub my arms, hiding myself now. I can't help but feel ashamed as I watch Drizzt, half naked, recover my clothes as well as his. I feel awkward and sick, looking toward the floor and my hair passes my shoulders. I see his feet turn back toward me and he pauses. I hear a sigh

"Don't tell me you have been brought to tears." he states softly, in a deep and caring tone. I shake my head no, though I do feel my eyes start to burn a bit. It's not so intense as to allow tears to spill over and overcome my face. I feel weak now, weaker than I've ever been. I've known myself, as have all the others known me, to be strong and independent, not this weakling whom cries and fears and I hate myself for it. I blink twice and my face becomes firm and, against my gut feeling, I place my hands on the table under me and look up to him with a smile. I am not hiding myself anymore.

"Why would shedding tears over what could have been be wise?" I chuckle. He stares at me a minute and I return my hands to their original positions, still uncomfortable but in such a way as to not make it seem so. I see a small grin come over his face and he passes me my outfit, what's not on my body that is. I grab it and hide a shudder, feeling the emotions that were very real only moments before.

"I fear returning, as you do." he states as I pull on my shirt. I straighten the blouse, not looking at him.

"Why would ye come to such a conclusion, sayin' I'm fearin' it as well" I question in a stubborn voice, hiding any shame that I feel. I hear a light laugh escape his ebony lips. My eyes dart to him"Drizzt Do'Urden, that laugh better not be towards me."

"You are so uncanny sometimes, I can never truly figure you out, but even in those times I see right through that facade of yours Cattie." I scoff and continue to dress myself, feeling frustration fill me. "Its one of the things that truly makes me love you more and more."

"I don't see why." I state stubbornly. "Course it's a well good break from Wulfgar hatin' it." I sigh and get to my feet, looking up at him. He hasn't even started dressing his torso yet. I sigh. "Tonight was a disappointment, indeed."

"Don't think of it that way." he states, obviously trying to hide the disappointment that I can see well in his eyes. "It was a good step to a new beginning. Telling Wulfgar will be an easier step now that it's done." My eyebrows furrow at this statement. It makes me feel uncomfortable, the way he speaks about Wulfgar.

"I understand your eagerness to tell Wulfgar of this, but do ye have to be so direct Drizzt, It sounded harsh the way you put it." he looks at me with a strange expression as if he doesn't understand.

"I cannot speak what I feel?" he wonders. I shrug, letting his hands go now.

"I don't feel durn comfortable with ye spillin the words as if they are natural. He is yer friend, and my-"

"Not for long though." he states with a smile. "Soon you will no longer be his, but mine. We might not keep the friendship, but it's worth it to have you to myself."

I feel my body go numb at these words and I cannot believe what I am hearing. He speaks as to own me? What is the nonsense he spills? I maneuver my way around the Drow, feeling a tad disgusted, with him and with myself. He doesn't follow me out the door, but I wouldn't wish him to anyways. The way he acts I am not sure how he will react to whom lies on the ground, where he deserves to be.

"Regis!" I question hotly to the Halfling, now rubbing his small head and staring up at me with questioning eyes.

"Having a bit of fun with your husband in there?" he questioned, sending a surge of guilt through me. He stands, hands moving from his head, and crosses his arms. "Or were you in the arms of another man?" I look around almost hopelessly.

"Keep yer goulderned mouth shut. Tha way yer yappin is makes me think we should sew yer lips shut."

"Fine." he states, hands up. "I just didn't expect it from you. I'm actually quite dissapointed"

"Bet ye don't expect it from him either." I shoot back, walking past him, feeling multiple things fill me to the brim with this lovesick hatred of myself.


End file.
